The Cynics Corner

Babylon 5

"Meditations on the Abyss"

by David E. Sluss

28 May 1998

 
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THE BOTTOM LINE
: A "Seinfeld" tribute, namely an episode about nothing. Those arguing that Season Five is "filler" get more ammunition. I don't know if it's filler or not, but this episode sure feels like it.

CYNICS CORNER RATING: 6.0 (D-)

SEX CHANGE OF THE WEEK: Delenn: "I haven't told the Captain your mission. He only knows..." "He?" Last I looked, Sheridan isn't the Captain and Captain Lochley was all woman (though you never know anymore, and the soap opera shenanigans of the Sheridan-Lochley ex-marriage just might rise above the "hoary cliche" level if Lochley turns out to be a man). Hmmm.

TRIAL BALLOON OF THE WEEK: I get the feeling that Montoya may be getting groomed for a role in Crusade and that this episode (and next, if the preview is to be believed -- more below) is a pilot of sorts for that idea. If so, let me say that I like the character and the actor.

OVERWROUGHT PREVIEW OF THE WEEK: The people behind the B5 previews, presumably TNT flacks, must be graduates of the "Star Trek: Voyager School of Trailer Production," as this week's episode bore next to no relation to it's preview ("Lennier goes on an important mission but will he become lost -- er that is -- stranded in space?" -- featuring a yuk yuk inside joke to boot). And is it just me or do you all want to strangle the voiceover guy too? He talks too much.

REVELATION OF THE WEEK: Is it that truth is a river and that God is the mouth of the river? No, it's the realization that the Narn are blithering hayseeds ("Ahh! A river!"). Those stupidogenic weapons the Centauri used on the Narn homeworld apparently did the trick after all...

REVELATION OF THE WEEK RUNNERUP: Garibaldi is infested with a Keeper! That's why he's drinking all the time, and why his behavior as a drunk is so utterly unconvincing. And is this subplot going anywhere? Shall we close every episode from now on with a shot (no pun intended) of Garibaldi drinking to the sound of Unsettling Music?

CULTURAL REFERENCE OF THE WEEK: "McBari's?" "Golden headbones?" Yuk-yuk. I wonder if they serve Zima there...

BAD HARBINGER OF THE WEEK: Sheridan says "We have a month before it all goes to hell" or some Sheridanism like that. I take that to mean, based on Season Five to date, that nothing of consequence will happen in the next three episodes. Sadly, there are only three more episodes before October. So hang onto those galoshes; winter ain't over yet!

NEXT WEEK: Delenn and Sheridan, head to head in the most exciting conversation of all!

   

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This review is copyright 1998 David E. Sluss
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